Becoming a mama of three… just thinking of it makes me want to cry. Not sure where the last 4 years have gone but what a wild ride it has been. I just love having babies lol
After 6 months of life with all three kids, we have a good routine established, especially with all of the craziness happening in the world! So I want to share with you all my most asked questions and how life for me is, with three kids!
Age gap between the three?
I get asked a lot what the age gap is between the kids! Brayden and Ava are 23 months apart and Ava and Lily are 22 months apart! Leaving me with 3 kids under the age of 4! And I would not change a thing. I love the craziness, I love how close in age they all are and I love that they will never know what life is like without each other.
The transition from 0-1, 1-2, 2-3
For me, the transition from 0-1 baby was fairly seamless. I loved becoming a mama and dove right into motherhood. Brayden was also an angel baby so he made it all so easy. Going from 1-2 kids, I also found fairly easily. Brayden was and has always been a very chill baby/toddler/kid so he took on his big brother role so well. Ava was an easy baby who loved to eat & sleep, so welcoming her into our little family was again pretty seamless. I got the hang of leaving the house with just the two of them and everything was gravy! Going from 2-3, that shit was just straight up HARD!
I won’t sugar coat it. For me, going from 2-3 kids was no joke and I think there were a few factors that made it trying in those first few weeks.
How did you cope with having a newborn and two kids at home, under the age of 4?
When Lily was born, all I wanted to do was soak in her little, perfect self. I wanted to lay in bed all day and stare at my baby… and the reality was, my other two kids needed me too! It was really hard for me in the beginning because I had to be two moms- one who had just given birth, loving on her new baby and navigating postpartum and one who had two toddlers who relied on her for everything. It made me cry a lot lol I felt guilt for not wanting to give Brayden and Ava 100% and I felt guilty for not being able to lay and cuddle Lily all day. My hubby had to go to work after one week and I was trying to stay afloat!
It got harder… because my kids got sick. Including the baby. And I was a mess! My anxiety doubles, as does any mom, when their kids get sick. But when baby Lily caught whatever the big kids had, I spiraled. I would call my husband at work, crying and begging him to come home because I was just so afraid! I mean, a one month old CANNOT get sick! I tried my best to keep everyone separated but as you can imagine, that didn’t work. Let’s just say it was a very stressful and emotionally exhausting few weeks!
Did you keep the kids in daycare (pre-pandemic)?
The initial plan was to keep Brayden and Ava in part-time daycare and they had only been once after Lily was born before they got sick. After weeks of not going because of sickness and fear, we pulled them out. My biggest regret (in hindsight) was keeping them in daycare… only because of all of the germs they brought home. Pretty sure I could have dodged all of the sickness in the beginning if they just stayed home. But, hindsight is 2020. And now with all of the craziness in the world, I am glad (and exhausted) that I have all my babies home safe with me.
How were Brayden and Ava with the transition?
Brayden had done this before so he was eagerly awaiting the arrival of Baby Lily. Ava was (& still is) a mamas girl! Having to share me wasn’t easy for her and it wasn’t easy for me to leave one of my babies crying. If I was holding the baby or nursing her, Ava would grab my hand and guide me to Lily’s chair so I could put her down!! I mean, all normal stuff especially for younger kids- they are trying to navigate this time and a new baby just like the rest of us! As soon as she realized the baby was here to stay, she eased up! She is a little mama now… if Lily is napping, she asks at least 5 times where baby Lily is. She brings me diapers and wipes (often a battle between her and Brayden who brings it to me lol) but she just loves on her baby sis. The bond each of them have with each other is so beautiful and filled with so much love and as a parent, that is all I want for my little people! Brayden is also such a great helper. He is always playing with Lily, making her laugh and getting her toys when they roll away. He is a pro at this big bro game!
Leaving the house with three… alone?
HAVEN’T DONE IT lol Okay I lied, I brought all three to a restaurant meeting for Lily’s baptism but that doesn’t really count. One thing I will say, especially with having a late fall/winter baby is be prepared to be home, a lot. It’s funny because I was chatting with a mama of 4 kids when I was pregnant and she had told me to prepare for being home a lot and I literally was like, “ya right LOL I am always out and about with my kids, whats another?!” HA! First off, the winter is so cold and to dress all 3 kids to go for a 20 minute walk around HomeSense or Winners is just crazy talk. And the GERMS (there goes my crazy mom anxiety about sickness) just isn’t worth it. That took me a while to come to terms with- especially since I had gone from working full-time downtown, running The Mama Market and constantly being on the GO to now being home. But I have learned to find joy at home and keep myself busy while doing so! My saving grace was our family road trip to Florida in February… and there, I would take the kids solo. But everything is better ( & easier) in the warmth! Plus, I would escape to HomeSense solo whenever I could… which does wonders for my sanity :).
Divide and conquer
As a couple, this is how you survive LOL you have to play off of each other! I am a morning person so I enjoy waking up with the kids (as long as they let me have a coffee before their crazy demands haha). I make dinner, my hubby cleans up. I will bathe Lily before bed and my husband will bathe the big kids, dress them, put them down as I am putting Lily down. So we have a method to our madness! Some days, I feel on top of the world and others, not so much. But that is life!
This may sound silly but my best advice to anyone thinking of having a third, aside from DO IT, is (if you can & I never did, never wanted to put the stress on myself/my body) have a spring/summer baby. This way, if you have all three kids home with you, they can be outside. You can be outside. The fresh air does wonders for your mental health and for your kids’ sanity. I’ll try and take my own advice next time (=P). I also live within 5 minutes of both of our parents’ houses which is a g a m e c h a n g e r. I could not have my babies without my mama, she SAVES the day all of the time (from grocery runs, watching the kids, sleepovers, everything). Love you, Mom (and Dad)<3.
Do I want more kids?
Most asked question LOL I am so happy and blessed with my three babies right now. But I do love having babies… we shall see what is in store for the Sousa tribe!